All These While

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Do you ever just keep our feelings,

Feelings that hurt you so much,

For days,

Followed by weeks,

Until that 'one day' comes,

You're physically hurt,

Your heart suddenly aches so hard,

In reality,

When you actually felt it for real,

Until you just can't take it anymore,

Because it is more than you can even bare,

You slowly bursts into tears,

And within a split second,

Someone comes to you,

Right where you sat down,

And asked you what had happened,

You just couldn't explain,

Those feelings can't be put into words,

And suddenly,

You were asked,

That one question that reflects it all,

"Have you been keeping things that hurt you most lately?"

There you are,

Nodding,

Being completely silent,

While wiping the tears off your face.

Love Yourself

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Appreciate.
What does it means by appreciate?
It means to be grateful and thankful on something.
What I want to share now is about appreciating yourself.

Appreciating yourself & loving yourself is important.
Yes, all humans are made with a lot of flaws.
But that doesn't mean you're not good enough.
We are all perfect with our imperfections.
Those imperfections made us who we are now.

No doubt,
People would often critic themselves and tell themselves that they aren't good enough
Just because of the silly mistakes they had made in the past
But past is past,
All you gotta do is move forward.
Take the value from the past as a reminder for you in the future
If its negative then slowly change to a better person
If its positive then maintain or try and become better
Its not the past that define who you are now or in the future

so love yourself & be grateful on everything.
do not often critic yourself as it lowers your self esteem & confidence

Sanggup ?

Assalamualaikum w.b.t,

So there goes my title, 
'Sanggup' ?

I've been friends with this person for a long time indeed.
It started when I first came in mrsm baling on 2013.
We were best friends.
And yes she's a girl.
We've been sharing secrets.
We literally tells each other mostly everything.
We've been through ups and down .
Yet we still stick together.
She was one of the people that I really care about.
I chose her not because of attention.
Its just because she was one of the people that I trusted.
The one that I trusted the most.
But ouch.
One fine day,
I knew about her.
Going around people talking shits about me
I swear to god I've never felt that kind of pain before.
Because she would always be the one who would realize.
Realize about whats  happening to my life.
Its either I'm happy or sad.
She would always know.
Its been 3 years of this friendship.
I saddens me because she kept on throwing knives behind my back.
And eventhough my back is bleeding hard for years,
I didnt realize back then.
I've just realize now.

Kau sanggup musnahkan persahabatan ni hanya sebab cemburu?
Yes, I admit you have all the attention.
But that doesnt make me desperate for attention if im friend with you.
Aku ikhlas.
Kau faham?

It really saddens me bila tau dia sanggup sebar fitnah tentang aku
So orang lain benci aku sekali

But that's okay .
As long as you're still faking yourself infront of me,
I'll be fine.
But dont ever look for me again
Once you've lost me 
As a person who would be there for you.

Thanks.

Who dat?

the three pictures above are me . haha . well i may not look they same from the face but i am still me physically & mentally. Hey. Before I start , let's us all wish upon our prophet Muhammad SAW since its his birthday today. Salam Maulidur Rasul :)

I was born on the 17th February 2000 in Hospital Selayang,Selangor. yes you're right! I'll be turning fiftteen this year . dont forget the presents ey? hee . 14 years of living had taught me alot . more than enough tho. I went through ups & downs. My loved ones had gone to Almighty and left me forever. But thats okay, its just a reminder to me that even the best people dies. So life must move on. 

I am currently studying in mjsc baling in kedah. haha. before that i was in smk aminuddin baki and smk seri hartamas. Well for primary I was in khalifah model school,sekolah agama ilmi and lastly sk bukit damansara . I've met alot of different kinds of people. Well you know what? When I was at the age of 11, I told my mum i didnt want to go to a boarding school if i ever got 5A's for upsr . but uhm, i did. haha Alhamdulillah, in standard 6 i've succesfully achieved 5A's . I cried like mad haha because I thought I wasnt going to get 5a since i got a 4a 1b for my trial tho. Sooo, I got in smk aminuddin baki, after a week studying there, i got in mrsm baling. At first I had no idea where baling was so my mom told me it was in kedah. I have no idea I would be studying in kedah like dude its really far ey? 6 hours of journey are you kidding me? I cried . I literally locked myself inside my room because i didnt want to go to boarding school and I was given a week of preparation before the regisration. So yeah.

on the 15th of January 2013, I've finally held up white flag to my parents and registered at mrsm baling. 

2015

I would like to wish every each one of you a Happy New Year 2015 

push away all the sadness,disspointmens,mistakes in 2014. Let's take 2014 as a lesson . 2014 has been a really really tough year for me tho. I started page 1 of 365 in 2014 good but I ended up freakishly ugly. How did you write your book in 2014? Let's write a good start in 2015 and lets hope that 2015 will be a good year for us 

its currently the first day of 2015

 1st January 2015

 in less than 48 days,

I will be officially turning 15 years old.

Wow whee times flies too fast

Since last year I faced checkpoint,

This year I will be facing pt3 which is an examination too . 

A big one indeed.

I am so nervous on facing 2015 because I know this year I would struggling my ass off so do a couple of years after which is on 2016 & 2017.

no more breaks

no more procrastinating

no more goofing around

no more not focusing 

no more sleeping in class

no more negative things that could effect my studies

So, usually on new year, people would often have a new year's resolution ey? haha . so do I .

Well attempting last year or last last year's resolution for a new resolution is too cliche tho . Well, my resolution is to just be a good girl to my parents and a good student to my teachers and also a good friend to all my friends. well that's even cliche but who cares its still a good one tho.

All my hopes in 2015 is just that I wont lose any more people that I love . I really hope they wont leave me broken . I hope they'll stay forever in my life & hereafter

Well thanks for reading , that's all for now .

See ya chuckles boo

Ibu Bapa

Assalamualaikum wbt

Mak / Ibu / Mama / Mummy / Bonda 

Ayah / Bapak / Daddy / Abah

Gelaran yang berbeza beza tetapi tetap mereka orang  yang cukup berjasa pada kita.

Alhamdulillah atas kurniaan ibu dan juga ayah saya, kamu semua.

Tanpa mereka, siapalah kita bukan?

Bukan apa, hanya ingin menegur apa yang saya telah dapat daripada ayah saya sendiri,

Saya bertanyakan kepada ayah saya "Ayah, betul ke haram bagi ibu bapa membandingkan anak anak mereka dengan orang lain kerana setiap anak mempunyai fitrah masing masing?" seperti yang dinyatakan di twitter yang telah disebarkan . Ayat itu diambil dari seorang Pencetus Ummah. Tetapi ketika itu saya terlepas episod tersebut lalu saya bertanyakan kepada ayah saya.

Kan ada kat twitter yang ada cakap macam ni, 

Janganlah kita memahami ayat itu sebulat bulatnya . Ada maksud tersirat sebenarnya. Bukannya semua haram ye. Kita kena tengok niat ibu bapa kita , sebab apa dia compare kita? sebab apa? kalau ia untuk ke arah kebaikan, maka tidak haram. kalau ke arah keburukan, tu yang haram. So janganlah kita bila mak atau ayah kita cakap "your name, pergilah study tak nak berjaya macam anak jiran sebelah tu ke?" kita balas "haram la bandingkan anak sendiri dengan anak orang lain" tu dah salah dah tu . tak pasal dapat dosa kan? Janganlah kita menderhaka terhadap kedua dua ibu bapa kita sebab mereka telah banyak berjasa dengan kita. 

Ingat, ibu bapa ni mulia sangat & mereka selalu nak yang terbaik untuk anak anak :)

Buatlah kebaikan terhadap kedua ibu bapa kita semampu yang boleh sebelum Allah amik mereka buat selamanya. Lambat laun mereka akan pergi jugak, jangan pulak mereka pergi dalam keadaan kita tengah derhaka dengan mereka. Ingat, syurga bawah tapak kaki ibu. Apa yang ibu bapa kita suruh buat demi kebaikan kita, kita buat . Jangan mengeluh. 

Saya ingin nasihat ini kepada diri saya sendiri juga.

Terima kasih .

Assalamualaikum wbt

Allah rindu

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Hidup.
Apa itu hidup tanpa kesenangan mahupun kesusahan?
Dalam hidup mesti dua dua tu wajib ada
Tak semua orang dapat kesenangan tu melalui wang.
Ada yang dapat dari segi kesihatan.
Alhamdulillah, syukur.
Memang kesenangan tu semua orang nak.
Semua orang suka.
Tapi, kesusahan?
Kalau boleh semua nak tolak dia jauh jauh sebab taknak rasa beban.
Tapi,
Kesusahan tu la yang bagi kita jadi kuat.
Kesusahan tu yang bagi iman kita jadi kuat


mama dengan daddy pernah pesan dekat saya ;

"jangan merungut kalau ditimpa kesusahan/musibah/masalah sebab Allah dah berjanji yang Allah takkan menguji seorang hambaNya lebih daripada kemampuannya,"

pastu diaorang ada pesan jugak janganlah kita cakap "matila aku,mampus la aku macam ni" sebab dah terang terang musibah yang kita alami tu kita akan tempuhi jugak dalam apa jua cara. Allah bagi kita ujian sebab Allah sayang kita kan ?

bila kita ditimpa ujian,
Allah sebenarnya rindu kita tu,
Allah nak kita sebut sebut namaNYA .
Ye lah, kita manusia biasa sering lupa padaNya padahal Allah selalu ingat kita dan tunggu kita untuk bersujud padaNya walaupun kita ni lalai selalu tinggal Allah di belakang. Allah tak pernah lupa hambaNya yang berjuta juta tetapi kenapa kita ni selalu lupa pada Allah yang satu?

Jadi, bersyukurlah kalau kita ni ditimpa ujian sebab tu tanda Allah sayang kita and rindu kita okay? :)